I'm sorry, from the pit of my naucous burning stomach.
I love this community, I'm just a tad bit neglectful at the moment.
I no longer know what to do with my life so I'm neglecting all things good.
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar out of the crowd begins it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I can't fool you. Anyone of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100 percent fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do, God believe me I do, but it's not enough. I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appretiate things when they are gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last three tours I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustation, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappretiative, Pisces, Jesus man! Why don't you just enoy it? I don't know. I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be. Full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-distructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my nauseous stomach for your letters of concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erractic moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain.
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances, for her life will be so much happier without me. I love you. I love you.
Kurt Cobain's suicide note, of which I have read so many times that I know it off by heart enough to write it all on here.
Well this is me.
A mod of the community, updating.
It took me hours to write this. Hours.